How Long Have I Got Left?

Today I turn 60. At 60 the question of how long do I have left has a whole different meaning then it did at 50. I feel lucky to be healthier at 60 than I was at 50 and very lucky to be alive, and engaged in a creative and interesting life. I feel lucky to have people who love me and who let me love them. I feel lucky to have so many people who are willing to share their lifes journey with me and teach me so much in that sharing. I feel lucky to have a boat and a river and some great oars to sweep me along most mornings as I watch the sun rise behind our beautiful city. We all must learn to run with a dagger in our hearts. We all know and then do not know many times in our lives what there is to lose, in this precious and delicate life. Here is to going on, even when it appears there is “no hope”.

I have been reading the Greek myths with my granddaughter recently and at the bottom of Pandora’s box was left hope before it flew out. Here is to embracing the hope in the bottom of Pandora’s jar. Here is to hope. Hope that I can fully “Grok” the 60 years that I have already been blessed to have and not to squander too many of the days that I have left to experience. Ken Blair used to say with great wit and humor, “you just need a tiny touch of HIV and it will all look different”. He lived many years with AIDS and cared for many people with AIDS before he died a couple of years ago. I am going to embrace this day, the first day in my 60’s, with gratitude for all that I have experienced and have yet to experience in life.

This is a brilliant article.

“I remember the moment when my overwhelming uneasiness yielded. Seven words from Samuel Beckett, a writer I’ve not even read that well, learned long ago as an undergraduate, began to repeat in my head, and the seemingly impassable sea of uncertainty parted: “I can’t go on. I’ll go on.” I took a step forward, repeating the phrase over and over: “I can’t go on. I’ll go on.” And then, at some point, I was through.” Read more here.

— Connie

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